


Reach

by RedLipped



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, if that's even possible, it's cute angst though, small panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLipped/pseuds/RedLipped
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never thought he would be jealous of the rain, until now. He realized that when the rain falls, it has the ability to run through Michael's hair and soak into his skin. It can leak through his clothing and send shivers down his spine. It can roll down the curve in his back and suddenly Gavin finds himself wishing he could melt away and become rain, despite the fact that they were presently dry under the roof of their car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reach

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on a poem by Richard Siken, which i'll leave in the end notes because it does potentially spoil the end of the story. it's a beautiful poem and when i first read it, i immediately thought of these two lovable dorks so i had to write something with it.
> 
> so, here you go! i hope you find this as beautiful reading it as i did writing it.

On a stormy Saturday afternoon, two boys sat in silence in their car. One drove the vehicle while the other thought too much.

Gavin rode in the passenger seat while Michael drove. His green eyes were puffy and he felt both mentally and physically exhausted. Under different circumstances, the rocking of the car would have put him to sleep in his tired state. On this day, his mind raced with too many unsaid words and panicked thoughts, fighting his body's craving for him to fall asleep.

Instead, he stayed awake with his head leaned against the window, eyes going slightly out of focus as he watched the continuous rain drops pound the glass. He never thought he would be jealous of the rain, until now. He realized that when the rain falls, it has the ability to run through Michael's hair and soak into his skin. It can leak through his clothing and send shivers down his spine. It can roll down the curve in his back and suddenly Gavin finds himself wishing he could melt away and become rain, despite the fact that they were presently dry under the roof of their car.

The wind blew forceful, rocking the vehicle on its steady tires. Michael stared straight ahead, both hands on the wheel, and knuckles white with the tension through his body. Occasionally, Gavin would take glances toward Michael's stiff figure, biting back words to try and make things right again.

Unfortunately, Gavin was uncharacteristically silent, ridden with guilt and regret. He was unable to voice his apologies, and even when he had previously tried, Michael had refused to accept them.

Their Saturday had started off great. They had plans to take a quick trip out of town, potentially looking for a new pet. A cat, Gavin had insisted for weeks on end. Michael would sigh in frustration, reiterating how much he hated cats, but eventually he would cave. He would do anything to see Gavin smile.

Gavin had rolled over in the morning and pressed a passionate kiss into Michael's lips, wanting to start the day off on a good note. They showered together, got dressed together, ate breakfast together, and left Austin together to travel to Hondo, Texas. The drive was supposed to be two hours, but due to Gavin's inability to properly read the map on his iPhone, it turned into a four hour drive filled with frustrated arguing and uncomfortable, tense silence.

Michael's shouts and insults remained etched into Gavin's brain. While Gavin had tripped and stumbled over his weak apologies, Michael had grown increasingly more aggravated. Gavin knew it was his fault that they were currently lost, he didn't need to be told so. Every road sign they passed sounded unfamiliar and Gavin was trying to get his bearings but his heart hurt and his brain wanted to shut down. Coincidentally, his overactive brain was the only thing keeping him awake.

He truly hadn't meant to ruin their day, but now Michael was left picking up the pieces and trying to get them back on a familiar road. The weather certainly wasn't helping. The heavy downpour hindered his view and the windshield wipers whipped back and forth repeatedly, providing the only source of sound echoing through the car apart from the rain hitting the windows.

Every breath Gavin took felt like a chore. He rested his hands in his lap, absentmindedly cleaning the dirt from under his nails and picking at the dry skin on his palms. The rain provided his only source of comfort, a distraction sent straight from the sky.

He longed for the reminder that Michael still loved him, regardless of this fight. Gavin's confidence levels weren't great from the beginning, but he shook with panic over the thought that this could lead to a break-up. If Michael was truly mad enough, Gavin wouldn't blame him for wanting to get rid of him once and for all. Gavin knew he was always making mistakes and he could rarely get anything right, and if they broke up Michael would easily find someone else to love him. But no one would ever love him like Gavin loved him.

Gavin loved him with every nerve ending in his body. From the tips of his fingers when he ran his hands along Michael's sides, to the bottom of his feet when they tangled their limbs together at night. His bones filled with adoration and his muscles ached to grasp onto Michael's arms, to hold him and never let him go. At two in the morning when he couldn't sleep, his heart beat in time with Michael's. His lungs filled with the smell of Michael's body wash every morning, and with his cologne during the day. The scent of Michael's shampoo was permanently embedded into his memory.

Gavin's jaw tightened as his eyes began to fill up. This was all his fault. He was going to lose the only person he ever truly cared about with his whole being. Michael deserved better, and he knew it. Michael deserved someone who would dance with him in the rain, not argue with him or sit in silence. A small part of Gavin wished that Michael would pull the car over on the side of the road, take his hand, and dance with him in the middle of nowhere. But the rest of Gavin knew that he would end up feeling envious of the rain again for being able to get closer to Michael than he ever could.

The silence was eating at him, and he wanted so desperately to shatter it and scream at Michael for being so beautiful and for hurting him so deeply. But Michael wasn't the problem here, he was. He felt like he was drowning in the rain and in the pain of angering the only one he loved. He was used to Michael's playful teasing and yelling in a work setting, but outside of work the Rage Quit personality was a comforting lover, gentle and soft in every aspect. Seeing him get so mad sent Gavin into a state of internal hysteria. But they were lost, and it was Gavin's fault, and now he had to deal with the consequences.

If he was being honest, he would take Michael's irate yelling over the silence any day. Neither of them were very quiet people. Typically Gavin talked a mile a minute about everything and nothing all at once, and their road trips were always filled with loud duets to songs on the radio. If they could dance together properly in a moving vehicle, Gavin knew they would do it. It was extremely out of character for them to be in a car together without one of them talking or singing.

Gavin's nerves were rising as he stared straight ahead into the rain. He clamped his jaw down tightly to prevent the burning feeling as tears started to sting his eyes. He didn't want to make the situation worse by crying openly, petrified of how Michael would react, but he also wanted to scream his love at him until they returned safely home.

He so desperately wanted Michael to know that Gavin loved him with every inch of his body and every millimeter of his heart. Even more desperately, he needed to know if Michael still felt the same. But Michael was so silent and Gavin's fears were growing larger every time he took a breath. His lungs filled with air but it felt as though they couldn't fill up enough, and his eyes closed as his head started to spin. The bumpy road under their tires combined with the wind rocking their car was starting to make Gavin feel nauseated, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was the movement or the steadily developing anxiety in his chest. It tightened his stomach and wrapped around his lungs, squeezing the air out of them until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

He suffered in his self-torment until he felt Michael's familiar fingers dance across the back of his left hand. All at once, his inner turmoil settled.

Michael's right hand moved downward slightly, making room for them to entangle their fingers in a tight grasp. He hadn't even noticed he had been trembling until Michael's steady thumb rubbed across the skin on the back of his hand, calming his nerves.

In an instant, he felt the air fill his lungs appropriately again. He could distantly smell Michael's cologne, and it helped bring his mind out of the state it was in. He may have imagined it, but it felt as though his heart had stopped entirely and then started anew.

His silent prayers to nobody were answered in the form of his boyfriend's soothing grasp. The anxiety in his chest was replaced by an entirely new feeling, something he wasn't sure was possible. Michael's ability to keep him grounded filled his nerve endings with a new love and appreciation for the boy beside him.

It no longer mattered that they were lost. The reason why they were driving through unfamiliar roads was forgotten in an instant. Gavin barely felt the wind rocking their vehicle and the sound of the rain on the windows became reassuring background noise.

He was in the car with a beautiful boy, and he didn't need to receive a verbal reminder to prove how much this boy loved him. The gentle touch was enough. The silence would do just fine.

 

**Author's Note:**

> “You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shovelled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.”  
> — Richard Siken
> 
> feel free to stalk me on [tumblr!](http://jacktapillo.tumblr.com/)


End file.
